Hungering for a sense of community

Ever since I retired in 2008 I’ve been hungering for a sense of community. The closest kinship I’ve found so far has been through lurking on Autistic blogs. I thought I might work up to participating actively through my own blog but my desire to do so has been decreasing. I’m a private person and don’t feel comfortable broadcasting my inner world to unseen strangers (though I’m grateful to those who do). I’m also not a natural writer nor do I aspire to be.

I found a satisfying way of contributing recently through sharing portions of my extensive blog list, both on the menu above and at (thank you Marcelle for allowing me to contribute there). I like being a behind-the-scenes resource person for natural leaders. I plan to contribute further to her list and am actively looking for similar behind-the-scenes opportunities to enhance Autistic Community. If anyone has any ideas please contact me.

I’m still hungering for a connection that feels more personal. I haven’t been looking very actively yet because I don’t know specifically what I’m looking for except for knowing how it feels when I find it. I’m thinking that a telephone connection with another middle-aged Autistic woman like myself (I’m 59 but not picky about age) might assuage this hunger.

If you feel similarly and are willing to connect by phone or Skype, please contact me or leave a comment below. Thank you.

Judy (An Autism Observer)

5 thoughts on “Hungering for a sense of community

  1. Facebook groups help a lot. It really has been my sense of home. Although it’s a couple friendships that came out of that that were really helpful. I need some new ones at this point.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. This is beautiful and perfect. I believe that we are naturally collectivist in orientation, and what you’ve done is remarkable. You were the first person to reach out to me when I started blogging on PsychCentral. You can’t begin to know how profoundly emotional I was after seeing your email. It meant so much to be sought out and found and pulled into a community.

    I’ve worked so hard… too hard, maybe, to gain parity in my life or to belong socially. My efforts have had zero yield or only superficial yield. I, too, am extremely private. My writing has been all over the internet only anonymously. From the day my toddler was born, I knew she was autistic. It wasn’t long after that I began to realize that I was, too.

    I knew that to gain any momentum in changing perceptions, I was going to have to put myself out there with my name and face and credentials. It was terrifying to tell the world I was autistic. I had already been subjected to so much pain and abuse, and I knew that being open about my autism would likely tank my career.

    I was so nervous that I could barely breathe after publishing that first article, and you reached out and pulled me in. I saw all the work you had done, how much selflessness you’d invested over the years to chronical and organize our voices. It was amazing, the high-investment, low-reward (personally) work you had done collapsed me with pride and humility and gratitude.

    If there’s one word to characterize my life, it would be “striving.” Never thriving or maintaining… Striving. I have to disassemble the fabric of society and break through walls just to subsist, and my heart has never translated the right way to the world around me.

    And that was the first time someone has ever sought me, saw my value as a human being, and welcomed me to be a part of something. I felt like the ugly duckling finally being rescued by the swans.

    I don’t imagine you care about your own voice or personal recognition. You do deserve it, though, so much. Thank you for persevering and for building a platform. You are amazing.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for honoring me with this comment. I feel similarly but am unable to express myself well (writing personally is stressful and unsatisfying for me) so I’m glad I found another way to contribute and convey my gratitude to the Autistic community.

      You’re welcome, and thanks for writing your blog. The list wouldn’t exist without bloggers like you.


  3. I so agree on this. I have found out i’m autistic only mknths ago, so i’m still trying to deconstruct all the limitations i’ve lived with for 34 years. But i’m also creating my own community with people supporting me in my research and my everyday life. I hope you have found what you were looking for, otherwise i’d love to connect!

    Liked by 1 person

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